It's been several months since I didn't blog that much. For several months, I thought many relationships problem happen continuously in the media, especially when it comes to divorce. From what I thought right now, I do believe that marriage is not the source of happiness, moreover a good guarantee for people to achieve happiness. Since my age is not yet qualified to step on the world of settlement, here's the reason why I think marriage should be reconsidered:
1. Only you can make yourself happy
When I was a kid I used to love watching many princess fairy tales and most of them always emphasize happy endings, where the prince is finally come to save, and love the princess truly just the way they are. But in reality? Love can fade. Many couples strive to maintain relationship by keeping communication pace and remember wedding vows, but I do believe that not all people can do that. Some people might rather find someone else as a rebound, and would not care if the wife/husband is just sitting at home, waiting for the spouse to come and have a good time. If the secret revealed, in the end it's just a heartbreak. What if the spouses' keep cheating? What if the spark is losing that the couples can't get it back anymore? It hurts that slowly, without realizing it, the self-esteem will fade. "Am I still pretty? Am I good enough? Am I responsible enough? Maybe not." Sometimes people learn to seek admiration and closeness from people, without remembering that the self is much worth it.
2. When Mr/Mrs. Right changes to Mr/Mrs. I-Don't-Know-Who-The-Person-Is-Anymore
Someone once told me, that relationship takes several phase of knowing someone deeper. From honeymoon phase, until he/she knows who the person really is. When it comes to dealing with this surprising character, for example highly temperamental, addiction of substances, materialistic, and many more. Although he/she might know their flaws before marriage, if one of the spouses can't handle the problem well it will turn into a major catastrophe.
3. It's all about the money...and the job division!
Indeed! According to several wedding magazines, many couples ended up divorced because of financial problems. The word money is inseparable when it comes to marriage, in order to pay for household expenses, insurance, credit card, and other never ending debt. Most payments must be paid by two people in order to be balanced, but worst of all is when the financial agreement is unfair, and only one person will get the benefit. For example, a woman named E is a successful career woman, and she is the one who provides everything for the family. She must drive home, standing in the middle of traffic for several hours, must still cook dinner, while the husband is just sitting in front of the TV, and never appreciates her time to cook while her body is tired; instead of cooking for her, or at least not criticize it. That's what I'm most afraid of.
4. Challenge = in laws
In Indonesia, when someone is married, it's like you "marry" the family. Although the couples have already started with their life, some parents still want to be involved in the spouse's business. If there's any problem, especially when the in laws stay at home, the gossip will be spread in viral!
Well that's all I can say for now. Marriage is more than just about being happy, and it is not a guarantee to live happily ever after, because in the end, if the couples are in catastrophe there's a chance for major separation; which is divorce. Hence, what for if I spend million Rupiah only for wedding, but when it comes to the game I feel like in jail? Or even ended up choose the wrong person? It is a waste of time. I believe I do have a say in this because marriage can be practiced by just living together in an apartment. Secondly, I am afraid of failure because the realm of marriage is very serious, and since my age is still young enough I'm not ready for that. I guess that makes sense.
When I was a kid I used to love watching many princess fairy tales and most of them always emphasize happy endings, where the prince is finally come to save, and love the princess truly just the way they are. But in reality? Love can fade. Many couples strive to maintain relationship by keeping communication pace and remember wedding vows, but I do believe that not all people can do that. Some people might rather find someone else as a rebound, and would not care if the wife/husband is just sitting at home, waiting for the spouse to come and have a good time. If the secret revealed, in the end it's just a heartbreak. What if the spouses' keep cheating? What if the spark is losing that the couples can't get it back anymore? It hurts that slowly, without realizing it, the self-esteem will fade. "Am I still pretty? Am I good enough? Am I responsible enough? Maybe not." Sometimes people learn to seek admiration and closeness from people, without remembering that the self is much worth it.
2. When Mr/Mrs. Right changes to Mr/Mrs. I-Don't-Know-Who-The-Person-Is-Anymore
Someone once told me, that relationship takes several phase of knowing someone deeper. From honeymoon phase, until he/she knows who the person really is. When it comes to dealing with this surprising character, for example highly temperamental, addiction of substances, materialistic, and many more. Although he/she might know their flaws before marriage, if one of the spouses can't handle the problem well it will turn into a major catastrophe.
3. It's all about the money...and the job division!
Indeed! According to several wedding magazines, many couples ended up divorced because of financial problems. The word money is inseparable when it comes to marriage, in order to pay for household expenses, insurance, credit card, and other never ending debt. Most payments must be paid by two people in order to be balanced, but worst of all is when the financial agreement is unfair, and only one person will get the benefit. For example, a woman named E is a successful career woman, and she is the one who provides everything for the family. She must drive home, standing in the middle of traffic for several hours, must still cook dinner, while the husband is just sitting in front of the TV, and never appreciates her time to cook while her body is tired; instead of cooking for her, or at least not criticize it. That's what I'm most afraid of.
4. Challenge = in laws
In Indonesia, when someone is married, it's like you "marry" the family. Although the couples have already started with their life, some parents still want to be involved in the spouse's business. If there's any problem, especially when the in laws stay at home, the gossip will be spread in viral!
Well that's all I can say for now. Marriage is more than just about being happy, and it is not a guarantee to live happily ever after, because in the end, if the couples are in catastrophe there's a chance for major separation; which is divorce. Hence, what for if I spend million Rupiah only for wedding, but when it comes to the game I feel like in jail? Or even ended up choose the wrong person? It is a waste of time. I believe I do have a say in this because marriage can be practiced by just living together in an apartment. Secondly, I am afraid of failure because the realm of marriage is very serious, and since my age is still young enough I'm not ready for that. I guess that makes sense.
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